Comments on A Letter from Kabwata: We need to reform Christian weddings

agree...but im just thinking, how would inter-reli...

2010-02-25T13:21:41.117+02:00

agree...but im just thinking, how would inter-religion weddings sound? i would like the idea of an Islam wedding while a christian music is being played in the entourage..

Thanks for this article. May the Lord give us more...

2010-01-22T01:46:32.613+02:00

Thanks for this article. May the Lord give us more young people like Daniel who become pressure to the culture instead of fitting in with the carnal expectations of others.

Very timely article from you pastor and very valua...

2010-01-18T15:15:25.623+02:00

Very timely article from you pastor and very valuable observations and comments from all especially JM. The message is clear, let us immediately reduce it to practice begining with the pre-marital counsellors, Christian to-be couples, church leaders and those that have 'tested' that the Lord good. Gabriel

I have received an email that comments on this par...

2010-01-14T16:49:22.854+02:00

I have received an email that comments on this particular blog entry.

* * * * *

Dear Pastor Mbewe,

I recently visited your blog, as I usually do, and found your article on the concerns you raised on the current trend in wedding activities. I concur with your observations, as I have also been very concerned at the way the “compromise” with the world has reached, in so far as the activities, especially at receptions. In addition to what you indicated in your article, I have a few additions that I see as some of the concerns that need to be addressed by the Evangelical Christians, especially of the reformed faith.

1. Professional photographers – I recall we used to have Christians taking pictures during the wedding ceremonies, they were conscious of the goings on during the whole ceremony. They paused during prayer, exchanging of vows and preaching. Now we see photographers whose interests are to take as many pictures as possible, even to the extent of distracting the most solemn events. They are moving throughout the ceremony – in one event the minister had to order the photographer to sit down during preaching!

2. Professional Matrons of Honour – We used to see matrons being selected from among the mature and Godly women in the local or sister churches. Now, we see an emergence of matrons that are hired and they specialise in creating unnecessary anxieties like deliberately delaying the bride for the ceremony as well as delaying the start of the wedding receptions. I took the trouble to check out on why these delays have been happening and I was told that it is deliberate to make invited guests more anxious, can you imagine! Very few receptions have started exactly on the time indicated on the invitation cards. I am also glad to see that ministers of the gospel institute punitive measures for delays in the sanctuary for the ceremony like, no preaching or outright cancellations of the wedding.

3. Best men and Bridesmaids – We have now slowly moved from the norm then when we best men and bridesmaids were usually Christians and usually members of the local or like-minded churches. What we see now is the inclusion of brothers and sisters, workmates, former school mates, and such like, most of who are not Christians at all. You can see how lost some of them are during the wedding ceremony – their faces show, they want to leave the church surroundings as soon as possible. We now have dress codes for church ceremony - usually very casual, and for the reception – usually very smart. Just shows you where the focus has now shifted to.

4. Master of Ceremonies – This is another sad development as there is now an emergence of professional MC’s, mainly comedians and radio and TV personalities. Some of these crack jokes throughout the receptions and lack seriousness. The worst part is that their jokes even trespass into mocking God as they make references to Christians – when they themselves are totally strangers to the Grace of God. I have walked out on two such situations in protest, when one such MC opened the occasion in “prayer” that sent the audience into laughter. I recall, we used our own men in the church to play this role and the ceremonies were very solemn, yet enjoyable.

5. Dancing Coaches – I recently tried to understand why the centre stage of the reception is now the dancing, or is it the procession of marching in. At one ceremony, the whole thing took 50 minutes as the team trooped in and out of the hall, as people ululated. You touched on how the dancing itself is done, I won’t belabour the point, but what I found of interest is that some dancing coaches are hired to “train” the best men and bridesmaids to perform better than the ones done in the past. The idea is to make each ceremony better than any other and evangelicals have gone through these episodes.

Your article, in my view brings out issues that need to be urgently addressed by the church, otherwise, as you mentioned in your article, the prospect is very frightening.

Warm regards, JM

Timely message. There is need for the church leade...

2010-01-05T16:49:25.221+02:00

Timely message. There is need for the church leadership to help the young by taking an interest in planning of events leading to wedding receiptions. Pastor Mbewe Thanks, you are a blessing.

In Christ
Titus Samona

Thank you for this post. In America as well we hav...

2009-12-30T21:03:48.921+02:00

Thank you for this post. In America as well we have a flippancy about marriage. It is no longer a sacred covenant.

In Christ,
Shelby
http://christianhomeschoolblog.blogspot.com/

This write up is most timely if not long overdue! ...

2009-12-26T12:55:10.205+02:00

This write up is most timely if not long overdue! I stopped attending wedding receptions ages ago because every time I attended, I came away grieved most of the times. Hedonism has really ambushed the Christian church today. People rarely ask critical questions nor think Biblically. Its high time we set standards especially if the church leaders rightly take the stand. We have waited long. Other areas of life need urgent reform as well. I fear we have too many "Reformed Christian parrots" who are not really deeply convinced in these things most surely believed amongs us. Hats off to you Pastor Mbewe!

Thanks to all of you for your feedback to this blo...

2009-12-24T22:37:17.472+02:00

Thanks to all of you for your feedback to this blog. It is clear that MANY Christian leaders have been getting VERY concerned about the modern trends in Christian weddings. I have just received a comment from one of our church elders, Charles Bota. He writes:

One couple who are counsellors at Kabwata Baptist Church (Barnabas and Grace Chiboboka) had this to say-and I have taken the liberty to paraphrase: "The deafening silence over the obvious abuse of Christian liberty at wedding receptions in Zambia has not been helpful, and has sent confusing signals for some. Breaking this silence is not only appropriate but will also compel all who love holiness and righteousness to think in terms of reformation at their wedding and especially at the wedding reception for their guests. We have decided to include the matter of modesty and testimony as a section in the pre-marital counselling sessions hereafter."

I think that this is probably the best place to slowly eat away at this cancer--one Christian wedding at a time. I don't know about other countries, but all Christian couples in Zambia seek pre-marital counselling. What a place for engaging their minds for reformation at weddings before they finalize their wedding plans!

Thanks Charles!

Amen! Thank you for expressing the concern and dr...

2009-12-24T17:14:14.258+02:00

Amen! Thank you for expressing the concern and drawing the lines publicly. We are called to be different from the world. Praise the Lord for the battles your generation fought and won, you have ably pointed out there there is a new battle that must be waged for the sake of His Name!
Philip Hunt
Kitwe

Dear Conrad The situation here in New Zealand is s...

2009-12-24T08:47:54.383+02:00

Dear Conrad
The situation here in New Zealand is surprisingly similar to that which you describe. Revealing dresses, especially the bride's dress, coarse 'jokes' at the reception and alcohol abuse are very common even among those who claim to be evangelical believers. Another issue in this country is that large amounts of money are spent on reception venues, food and drink, bands, and clothing. Professing children of Christian parents often demand such extravagance.
Thank you for alerting me that this sort of thing is not just a problem here in New Zealand.
(Pastor) David Marshall

Amen! Thank you for a well written article on a vi...

2009-12-23T18:37:37.702+02:00

Amen! Thank you for a well written article on a vital subject. We face similar issues in the South Pacific. Thanks for being a voice for the Lord.

It is my trust that this article can help young pe...

2009-12-23T14:46:56.458+02:00

It is my trust that this article can help young people re-look at what really should be in a Christian wedding. The reception can be made a simple affair. Or if temptation to dance is high why not just have some drinks at church and forgo reception?

Thanks for timely message you penned down here. Fo...

2009-12-22T23:42:15.402+02:00

Thanks for timely message you penned down here.
For me I have not being to many weddings here in
the western world. The wedding I attended was
a friend of mine who was getting marriage to a brother from Uganda and I was among the bridegroom, it went well everything was decent
and the music was gospel, though some people said it was boring. For me the war I am witnessing here is the one marring none believers. It is so common with those who call themselves christians. While they justify themselves saying we are here if you find someone to marry you why not, not thinking of what God's will say about marriage.

Thank you for writing this , Conrad . It is about ...

2009-12-22T18:40:02.897+02:00

Thank you for writing this , Conrad . It is about time that this matter was addressed . Fraternal Greetings , Joachim - Namibia

WOW! Hallelujah! At long Last here we ave ONE Elde...

2009-12-22T16:11:41.028+02:00

WOW! Hallelujah!
At long Last here we ave ONE Elder (My Pastor) need I say "divinely inspired" to pen down his thoughts concerning what we(young people) have been battling with for some time now.

My dear Pastor I can't wait to hear to hear you ADDRESS this matter quote; "...(a matter I will soon address), you can easily see why this matter is a cause of serious concern."end quote.

You have BLESSED MY HEART BY starting this discussion and I share your concerns entirely and suffice to say, I for one have had to turn down some music that young couple have asked me to play on their wedding do to the fact that my conscience JUST won't let me play it and also like you said, IT DOES NOT MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE between a christian wedding music and a non-christian wedding music!

Brethren Let us be encouraged. I have been entirely BLESSED with the sentiments raised by Pastor Mbewe and oh I pray that we may heed the challenge here and do the right! You have challenged me Pastor Mbewe with the sentiment of WHAT BATTLE AM I FIGHTING IN MY PRACTICAL CHRISTIAN LIVING?

Pastor Conrad, I praise and thank the LORD for yo...

2009-12-22T15:22:08.426+02:00

Pastor Conrad,

I praise and thank the LORD for your righteous response to a real concern! This trend is also being seen in South Africa.

Sadly, Jesus' words ring true: "...every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit." (Mat 7:17-18).

We will unite our hearts in prayer for you and the rising generation of professing Christians in Zambia and South Africa!

David

Your message is timely and is needed desperately i...

2009-12-22T12:58:42.841+02:00

Your message is timely and is needed desperately in the western churches as well as Africa. I know you have opportunities to speak in Europe and America, God bless you as you encourage Christians to be different from the world.

Pastor, I can't agree with you more!You have r...

2009-12-22T12:40:38.268+02:00

Pastor, I can't agree with you more!You have rightly pointed out the need for decency and modesty. Much of what the bridal party at some Christian wedding receptions nowadays is, is about entertaining in a wrong way, and mostly because other people (relatives & friends) dictate what and how things should be done. All Christians should be radical about the gracious difference, testimony and witnesss in this sin-sick and perishing world! Mwango